I met him at work. I was new at work, and he took a special interest in teaching me everything. He was extremely smart, and I benefited a lot. I tried to keep things professional even with his advances, because I needed his help into knowing the basics at work. It took me one month to be proficient. Am a fast learner!
Slowly, he would call me up after work. He was in a troubled marriage, and I thought the only way i could repay him was by lending an ear to him and his problems.
Now, there is a parallel story to my life. I was in an abusive relationship. My boyfriend kept insulting me and said derogatory things about no good man would ever want to be with me. My self confidence was pretty low. And the truth was this married man way a thousand times better and more intelligent than my bf.
Hence, when the married man showered me with attention, it was a definite ego boost for me! Slowly, he fell for me. He separated from him wife and started living alone. His dedication towards me grew and I felt myself losing my clarity with his charm. After about 2 months we got physical. The first time was magical! We both felt liberated! Sex was so good! The chemistry was inexplicable. I never had better organisms with anyone else. We both got addicted to each other in different levels, sexually, spiritually and intellectually!
We would argue about politics, dissect movies and write up book reports. It was phenomenal. We even escaped to clandestine small vacations! We were completely in tune to each other’s body and mind. This went one for about 2 years. I was becoming slowly aware of our differences. The things I wanted eventually for the long term were quite different from the things he wanted. For a while we both tried to align our beliefs, hoping to find ourselves in a middle ground. But we both failed. Our ideologies and our core belief systems were polar opposites. And I wanted to break free before i became intocicated by the awesome chemistry we shared. I took a drastic measure. Broke off all contacts, changed my phone number and cut all ties. He had tried to reach me in several ways, but I stood my ground, because I was sure that we would not have a good marriage, though sex was addicting with him, I could thankfully see beyond sex and find out our differences.
So romances happen. I fell for a married man because of the situation at that time for both of us. We both were unhappy in our respective relations, we needed to vent, we found each other and that’s it! My saga with a married man unfolded.
It’s been 4years since, he still writes to me, but i never reply to his emails. He did divorce his then wife and is married to another lady who shares his vision. I too broke off with my then abusive boyfriend and is married now to someone else with whom i share my life’s goals and core beliefs.
So, I hope you understand, that my relationship with a married man was purely situational and it provided us both a good way to find ourselves and eventually break off from abusive partners and go onto marry the one meant for us. It was win-win, but I only assume so is because we were both very honest about our stance and feelings with each other.
Thank you for reading.Cheers