FROM THE OFFICE OF
Monday 20th of August 2017,
Pauline Ndjoka 7,
Dear little girl,
You spent so much time thinking happiness was reserved for the wealthy. Many questions in you head, you concluded happiness wasn’t for you, that you were not good enough for this privilege. My deepest regret is to not have given you the strength that I currently have, I am sorry for not been there to tell you how beautiful and unbelievable you were.
I would have wanted to be there all these times when you were so hard on yourself, to tell you that in this world you are allowed to make a mistake even if that one is multiplied by 10 000. That failure is not a fatality and you should not to be ashamed of falling down. I wish I was there to tell you it was not your fault, indeed to succeed you have to suffer and above all, life is not a long, quiet river. I would have wanted to prevent you from harming yourself and others regardless of your reason. As I look back at you, tiny and yet thinking about adulthood, you did not dare, you did not ﬁght, you left your destiny into others hands. Quiet when faced with injustice.
As I look back at you, screaming but nothing happen…You were so tough on yourself, so hard darling, this pressure, simply because you are dis-similar to this society, for being what you were not…bloodcurdling. I am breathing out, I am trying to get over you, but I still feel this weight inside you, inside me, inside us…
So, I am watching you, beautiful and full of potential and I whisper you « I forgive, forget everything, the world is ours. Run, ﬂy, scream, the world is ours… ». But, immediately you disappeared…I would have wanted to tell you these words.
I would have wanted… I would have wanted so many things…but 22 years have past and it is impossible for me to go back in the past and be the person I am today. Today what I want is to tell you how sorry I am and especially thanking you for bringing me where I am today, thank you for never giving up.
Thank you to the ex-me for bringing me until this new endless street of the Happiness.
A 22 years old’s little girl..
4A : APPRENDRE, AIMER, AIDER, APPRÉCIER