Epistle Of A Playa: Love is Complicated

I dedicate this to big S. The one woman that has ever broken my heart and big S broke it numerous times. Eight times to be precise. I was never going to be good enough and I knew right from the onset. Love is never enough especially when love comes with a baggage of irritation and immaturity.

Here is to F. The one that could have been. You deserve way better than I could give. Carried a brother through the toughest times. Way too soft and lenient with me, but lost faith at the crucial time. You are a constant reminder that every crucial decision in life is a factor of timing. I will pay your good deeds back. I promise.

E. Where do I start? Ghetto fabulous, shared her deepest secrets with me. Sharpened my street orientation. Took my side even over her own blood relatives. We shared common enemies and that strengthened our Love. However, if I were to be honest, she did not stand a chance. She was a victim of her environment. My ambitions made you the imperfect company.

To big O. For better or worse, we share a bond forever. I appreciate the gift you have given me, and beyond our imperfections you remain the best thing I do not want. The closest but farthest from me. You are the recipient of all the lessons learned from my previous failures. Your chapter would never end with me, it would only evolve.

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To little S. Chased you for five years, dated you for six months. You were way too immature and I was way too impatient. In retrospect, I think we  just did not know what to do with the limited time our relationship was destined to last. So we vented our frustrations on each other. You are the good girl time won’t let me have.

To the amazing A. My obsession. Work ethics of a horse, broad shoulders to show how much you can handle your own business. Graceful walk like all other ladies were molded off you. Tilt slightly to the left , just enough to show you are not like the others. Having said this, I am well aware of the role time need to play in this. Hence, I leave it to time.

Back to big S. Took me four year to forgive you. I had to be in your shoes to understand your perspective. Just want to say I now understand.

So let us raise our classes,

To the big S’s. The exes the rejected us because we were not good enough.

The exes we want to prove wrong every single day of our lives.

The exes that make us better.

Cheers

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