I was lying face up on the bed in Oscar’s bedroom. My hands were folded on my abdomen. My eyes were covered with an eye mask. I half wanted him to just leave. I expected him to leave since I had my eye mask on and I only had it on when I was sleeping. I had no reason for always wearing it to sleep than that I liked it. But right now I wore it to hide my tears. Each time a tear escaped from my eyes I pressed the mask to my temple to dampen the tears.
He just knelt there beside the bed and begged me to please forgive him. His pleading was half hearted. It was not wholesome. There was something in his voice that I read to mean that he expected me to have understood him by now, that he liked women and he could not change, only apologize. This thing had always been in his voice in all his apologies.
I caught him in his office having sex with a girl that works in his office. It was the third time I had caught him cheating since our engagement. I have lost count of how many times he had cheated on me since I knew him. And our wedding was just six weeks away. Precisely five weeks and four days away. What a mess!
Could I go through with this – our marriage? Yes, I loved the cheat but I was beginning to decide that love was not all there was to consider in marriage. How could I, with my complete senses, plunge into a marital relationship with someone I could not trust. What a mess!
“I wish you will just leave,” I interrupted him in his pleading. I needed time to think and cry. And his seeing me cry was the last thing I wanted right now. He had seen me cry over his unfaithfulness too many times before but obviously it had no effect on him. I did not wish for him to see me that weak again.
I heard him sigh and press his hands into the bed as he stood up to leave. He closed the door quietly after him. I wondered what he would do now. Definitely he would not brood over me. I knew him that much. He was almost never sad. Always happy. Not jolly, just a guy with a positive mentality. Would he go back to finish what he had started with his skinny office girl. The ‘dry thing’ he preferred over me.
“Oh God,” I let out with a heavy heart. I removed the mask and let out the tears this time.
I thought he liked women that had something to their bones. In-fact my perfectly rounded buttocks was one of the things that attracted him to me at first. Even when we were out in public, it was physically endowed women he stared at. I never said anything about it all those times until I caught him with one in his house. They were hungrily kissing each other in his sitting room. There were files scattered on the table, what would have served as the excuse if I had not caught them red handed.