(cont from part 1)
I saw them together in his house a few weeks before that first experience but I could only guardedly air my fears to him since I had no proof.
“She’s very pretty,” I had said.
“Yeah, I guess,” he had replied.
“Why did you say she comes here again?”
“It’s work, baby.”
“Now don’t tell me you are jealous.”
“I just don’t know why she has to come home for the ‘work.’ ”
“It’s more convenient for her. I don’t want to put her through the stress of coming all the way to the office for just small work that we have. And I’m the recipient so I have to treat her nice.”
As he was talking I could not help thinking that what it looked like they were doing was not small work. I had let it die because I had no proof and I did not want to seem overprotective.
Then I saw them together anyway. When I did , I felt like I broke. Like the whole of me was shattering into tiny pieces and in a moment he and the woman would get broom and parker and sweep and park me into the dustbin, and then the garbage truck would swallow me and then throw me in the ocean or wherever it was they threw garbage into.
The dread of that thought more than anything made me turn around and leave. He followed me to try to stop me but I did not stop. I just got in my car and zoomed off. Then I was sure that I would never have anything to do with him again. Not with someone that dirty. Not with a cheat. That was not part of the plan I had for my life.
But a week later we were back together. He kept begging and I kept justifying his action in my mind until I agreed that nobody was perfect after all. And our love brought us together again, and love covers a multitude of sin,I thought
The second time was with a married woman. She was his friend from his university days. But I did not suspect them. Maybe because she was married. And had he not said he would not do it again?
But it happened again anyway.
I traveled to Delta State University for my sister’s convocation. I was away for a week and when I came back I decided to sleep over at his house since it was closer to the airport.
I was so tired that when I entered his house it took me a while to correctly understand what was going on. She had her hand around his neck and she was holding a knife and I thought she was going to slay him and so I screamed.
But when it registered in my mind that it was only love play, I hissed and stormed out. He did not follow so I just sat in my car and kept crying as I replayed the scene in my head. They were enjoying themselves while I was worried that I abandoned him for a whole week. She was even cooking for him. Did she cook better than me? She was even wearing my cloth.
Part of me wanted to go back in and tear my cloth off of her but I simply shrunk back into my car seat. I probably spent over an hour there, outside his gates, not wanting to go back home all puffy eyed and uncoordinated.
I eventually drove home, wishing I had called him to notify him that I was coming. Then I would have saved myself a heartbreak.
That night he kept calling and texting but I dis not pick up his calls or reply his texts. He wrote that he was sorry and that he had driven her away. He was only carried away by her, knowing that she was someone that knew him from university. I thought little of what he said. I just wanted to sleep and wake up to a bright new day.
My bright new day found Oscar in my house, in the sitting room talking with my father at a time a little too early.
“Oscar said you have all day together,” my father said.
I simply smiled and went back in to get dressed to go out with him with a plan poignant in my head. I could not tell him off in front of my father. I could not disgrace him like that. I would go out with him today and be as shitty as I could. I would buy time until it was convenient for me to tell my family that I had broken up with him, for a reason I would cook up which would be good enough.
We went to an eatery for breakfast, as he had said and even before we started eating he launched into an apology.
“You are a cheat and a liar,” I said smiling angrily.
I wish you wouldn’t be so hard on me. I love you Pat. Please understand my weakness,” he said. And the tone of his voice and the look on his face made my angry heart mellow. And I could not ask him the question his statement prompted me to compose: so are you trying to tell me that since it’s your weakness I would have to bear with it for as long as we are together?
to be continued…..Cheers