Suddenly, he turned back into a boy! back to being afraid, afraid of everything he had outgrown, afraid of the dark, life and love, the very life he had grown to love and the love he has come to learn. Nightmares woke him up in sweats, squirms, and pantings, he gasped for air and dizzied from endless echoes of voices that once told him to be a man, but never showed him how. All by himself he learnt, fell, rose and somehow stumbled unto manhood. For it will bruise his ego to be likened to a woman or worse, to the wrapper that strapped him to her back once upon a time. it would be better to die! He dared not be vulnerable, for he is expected, assumed and supposed to be a symbol of strength; nothing short, else he is of no worth. Sweats are praised but tears are shamed, for they are a sign of weakness, a permissive will to a woman but an ill feat to a man. So he worked sculptured smiles unto his face, and wore silence for a dress, in an attempt to suppress, the emotional stress, that brewed inside. A well of tears, he wouldn't dare shed. Until tragedy struck and exposed his weakness, his fears, then his tears. the sad boy beneath my man of valor, stood bare before my frightened soul. My tears flowed into his, formed a river and we both drowned in misery. I should have seen it in his alarming insecurities, incessant jealousy, endless bouts of moodiness, the parade of his ego, the masking of emotions and the earth shattering silence that was the loudest gun shot. When he did 'shut up'. Intuition, pain, denial, anger, then a resolve to try harder. I tried and I tried... I endured the unbearable drudgery of staying and the uncertainty of waiting. then I became sad too; for how do I love a 'sad boy'? one shrouded in pain, cringing at every love stroke I gave, how do I love someone, who's burdens now reign over my name? for a moment I did endure, until it was the last straw. I snapped and broke up! for how do I love a 'sad boy'? when the last thing he needed was my love: my love, which was now sadly, even more pathetic.
I am Comfort Ada Attah, a young creative who is passionate about everything art; from music to creative writing, poetry, photography and fine arts. Writing is a huge part of me, it's what keeps me sane and balanced and so I consider it therapeutic and vital to life. I wish to share hope, love, light and inspiration through my art. I hope to be a voice that inspires and influences others positively.